Archive for the ‘Prevention’ Category
Lesson 10: Child Sexual Abuse: What it is and What to do if you suspect
What is Sexual Abuse:
Sexual abuse happens anytime a child is asked, tricked, or forced by someone who is bigger, stronger, or older, or by someone who has some power over him/her. The abuser will want the child to do “secret” non-touching or “secret” touching activities that involve the child’s private parts, the abuser’s private parts, or the private parts of someone else.
The child will often feel the urge to tell, but he or she knows it’s a secret – not a fun secret that makes him/her happy and excited to keep. It’s a scary secret, one the child is afraid to tell, one that gives the child that funny feeling, like butterflies, in his or her stomach.
And although most people automatically think of abuse as “touching”, which it is, there are also “non-touching” forms of sexual abuse, too.
Non-Touching Sexual Abuse
Non-touching behavior occurs anytime someone shows a child movies, pictures or Internet sites with pornography. It also happens if someone exposes his/her private body parts to a child.
Non-touching behaviors also occur if someone asks a child to pose for a picture without clothes or in a sexual way that makes a child feel uncomfortable, or if someone takes a child’s picture while he or she is doing something sexual or using the bathroom. The abuser might encourage the child to watch or listen to people who are engaging in sexual acts. Or an abuser might want to watch the child undress or bathe.
Sexual harassment is also a form of sexual abuse. Someone might tease a child or cause the child to have uncomfortable feelings about his/her body or certain clothes, or the abuser might call a child bad names like ho, slut, bitch, or fag. The child might be scared to tell on the bully, or the child might want the abuser to think he or she can “take it.”
Touching Sexual Abuse
Sexually abusive touching behaviors happen when someone touches the private parts of a child’s body, over or under his/her clothes or makes the child touch their body. It also happens if an abuser put any part of his/her body on or in any part of a child’s body. The abuser might use their fingers, tongue or their private parts. Another form of touching sexual abuse occurs if someone puts any foreign object into a child’s body, like soap or the handle of a hairbrush, or crayons.
And any time someone is forced to have sexual intercourse, whether the person is an acquaintance or not, even if it was a consensual date, that’s rape. Rape also happens if the ability to say “NO” has been taken away because a person is unconscious or drugged. If a Date Rape Drug is slipped into a drink, that person will not know what’s happening. He or she will not be able to protect him/herself, and will not be able to say “NO” to unwanted sexual advances. That’s rape.
If you are Unsure or If You Suspect Abuse:
- Keep calm. Never panic or overreact.
- Believe the child. Never doubt the child.
- Reassure the child. Never blame the child.
- Listen to and answer the child’s questions honestly.
- Never pressure the child to talk or avoid talking about the abuse.
- Respect the child’s privacy. Never discuss the abuse in front of unnecessary people.
- Never confront the offender.
- Report the abuse immediately.
To Report Child Sexual Abuse
Call your local police, Child Protective Services, Child Advocacy Center, or Sexual Assault Crisis Center.
For the center closest to you, call:
The Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN)
800-656-4673
The National Child Abuse Hotline
800-422-4453
The National Victim Center
800-394-2255
In the greater Pittsburgh, PA area, call:
Pittsburgh Action Against Rape
19th Street
Pittsburgh, PA 15203
866-END-RAPE (1-866-363-7273)
412-431-5665
www.PAAR.net
Center for Victims of Violent Crime
900 Fifth Avenue
Pittsburgh, PA 15222
www.cvvc.org
Family Resources of Pittsburgh
South Highland Avenue
Pittsburgh, PA
Main Number: 412-363-1702
Parenting WARMLINE Numbers:
Within Allegheny County: 412-641-4546 or 1-877-WARMLYN
Outside Allegheny County: 800-641-4546
Parenting WARMLINE email: warmline@familyresourcesofpa.org
Originally uploaded by Beche-la-mer
Uploaded by Beche-la-mer on 23 Apr 07, 3.31AM PDT.
Lesson #4: The Iceman Cometh!
There are probably many questions running through your mind, like why, what do I do, and when is it ever going to end.
Well, it isn’t going to stop until the snow ceases to fall, and since it’s only mid-February, who knows when that will be. But, there are some things you need to know and some things you can do. This is how my husband, the builder, has explained it all to me.
The gutters freeze (yes they are almost always the culprit). The ice builds up on top of those frozen tunnels, grows backwards up the roof and gets under the shingles. This is called an ice dam. Then the cold snow acts as an insulator, trapping the ice between the warmth of the house and the cold temperatures outside. (Yes, believe it or not snow is an insulator.) So, the ice begins to melt.
Since it’s made its way underneath the shingles, with nowhere else to go, the water drips its pesky way, through your attic and onto your ceilings or down your walls, soaking drywall and insulation and wiring and everything in its path.
So, what should you do when you find that leak?
First of all, if you haven’t already done so, stop yelling, grab some towels and a bucket and get things under control. If it’s wet enough, pull back wet carpet, cut out and throw away wet padding. And no matter how bad it is, relocate furniture, electronics, pictures, and any other items that might get damaged by the water. Then, if you notice a few wets spots where the drywall (or drywall tape) is bubbling, use a screw driver or pointy knife, or some other sharp object and poke a hole all the way through the drywall. If the wet area is large enough, you might need to use a utility knife to cut away the bubbling drywall.
The hole(s) you make will give the water a directed outlet and keep it from running aimlessly across the top of the drywall and spreading the moisture. So, remember to place a bucket below the hole to catch any water that finds its way out.
Next place a fan, on the floor, facing up toward the opening and the leak. Turn it on low and let it run. The fan will circulate the warm air and help dry out the dampened area(s).
Okay, now that you’ve got things under control on the inside, you will need to get the snow and ice removed from your roof or deck or porch area above the leak. Problem areas often arise at seams and valleys, such as where two different roof peeks meet or where a deck meets the house. You can purchase a snow rake at your local hardware store which will allow you to pull the snow from the roof. Although the rake won’t remove the ice, it will expose it to the cold temperatures, hopefully causing it to refreeze. But even that will require you get up on a ladder. And the roof is steep and the ice is slick – so it might be wise to call a professional to help you with any roofing issues, even if it means you need to wait a day or two. And don’t just use anyone. Get a reference from a friend, family member or neighbor.
Unfortunately until we are through this very snowy winter, any time it snows you could see more water and will need to continue to remove the snow from your rooftop. So, once you find that reliable person, don’t lose his number!
Don’t make any repairs to the inside of your house until the wet weather has passed and you are absolutely sure everything is completely dry. Otherwise, you risk mold. And once you get that varmint, remediation is expensive and difficult and generally not covered under a homeowners insurance policy.
In the springtime, when you are certain no more snow will fly, but before the rains begin, you’ll need to have a certified roofer inspect the problem area to be sure there’s no permanent damage. Have him check the shingles, gutters and downspouts, and while he’s there ask him about your flashing and ice guard. This might be a good time to enhance both. Additionally, you might want to talk to him about removable gutters. My husband and I are looking into them as that’s where the problem begins!
Originally uploaded by limshouzhi
